drive by drop by

I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would do a quick drive by and see if anyone was home, and just drop this right here. Because it’s pretty.

You’re welcome.

ummmm, hi?

See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow.
Tool, forty-six & 2

So uh, hi? It’s kind of been a while. *sheepishly looks away and shuffles her feet*

I’ve been sort of busy trying to clear the way. What?! What the hell does that mean? I’ve disappeared, and then come back just to be elusive. Who wants to pull the bullshit card on me? I’ll do the honors…BULLSHIT! *It’s kind of fun pulling the card on yourself 😉

Ok really though. How have you been? Is work going well? Your parents are feeling healthy? Are you getting enough rest? Now that we’ve caught up, I suppose it is only fair for me to give you a quick little update on what has been happening in my neck of the woods.

Ok, are you ready? September: My dog died. October: I had a total emotional breakdown/emotionally enlightened moment. November: I moved to a new home. January: I got a divorce.

PHEW! Now that that is out of the way, we can carry on with bringing this blog back to life. What? Why are you staring at me like that? Too much, too soon? No shit! Tell me about it. Try living through it.

And here I sit, on the other end of a bad country song. So basically I have just been hanging out, picking up the pieces, investigating the inner workings of my heart and my brain, and trying to step through my shadow and find my way into the other side.

Son of a bitch! It’s still super elusive, isn’t it? This is a tricky post, I’m telling you!

Ok. I’ll give you a less elusive breakdown.

September: We made the heart wrenching decision to say goodbye to my almost-16-year-old Kodabear. Honestly? I still haven’t really sat down with those emotions. It was stupidly difficult and I still miss that grumpy sonofabitch every single day.

October: Days after our difficult goodbye, we hopped on a plane and headed to our most favorite place in the whole wide world…Costa Rica. And then, the shit hit the fan with my heart and mind. Seriously, if you are going to have a gut wrenching, heart breaking emotional revelation, you might as well do it in the most epic scenery nature has to offer. And so I woke up one day, and my world changed. Costa Rica has a way with me. It always has and I suspect it always will. So quite literally, I woke up one day, and my world changed.

November: I put my big girl panties on and packed my things and for the first time ever, ventured off into the unknown, flying solo. Living alone has been so exhilarating, terrifying, and everything in between. It is something my heart has craved and I am slowly curling up into it and getting cozy.

January: Maybe the most friendly divorce you ever did see occurred in the month of January. And now I am an ex-wife. With an ex-husband. And it is really fucking weird. Tomorrow would have marked 16 years of marriage. Which is also really fucking weird, and probably the push to finally just get it out there.

So now I get to know me. And the single life. Which YOU GUYS?! Single life is also really fucking weird! And sometimes trying. Like, WHOOOOOO is supposed to put the sunblock on my back for me now????? And there was the time I got a large tattoo on my back. WHOOOOOOO is supposed to lotion that thing? And when my back gave out on me, HOOOOOOOOOOW am I supposed to get off the toilet on my own? It’s a journey I tell ‘ya!

 

changing & growing

The secret of change
Is to focus all of your energy,
Not on fighting the old,
But on building the new.
                     – Socrates

 

There is lots of changing and growing and learning and every damn thing in between going on in my neck of the woods currently. It is a strange chapter, but I’m doing what I can and building on the new. (and maybe in the process, I’ll find some time to edit photos. LOL who are we kidding?! It sounded good though, right???)

 

oh hey

oh, hey there. look, a bug! I hit the motherload of fabulousness in one lone bush in Costa Rica, and spent a stupid amount of time just marveling at mother nature and her creations

oh my.

oh. my. god. becky. look at how long this blog has sat.

It’s an ongoing theme, isn’t it? Let the blog sit. Post on the blog about how long I’ve let the blog sit. Oh well. Why break routine now, huh?

Sadly, there is nothing exciting to update. No pretty pictures to post, because who really knows the last time a camera other than my phone has sat in my hands? So cell phone photos it is….

I finished a quilt….after *cough* two years *cough*

This sucker was a labor of love and slightly terrifying as the recipient had no idea it was coming her way. I knew the nautical theme was a perfect fit, but everything else was a big fat question mark. Two years of love…and what if she hated it?! I handed it over last weekend and I think it’s safe to say that it was very well received. PHEW!

And then I got all twitchy and remembered how much I love to sew, so I am whipping up this little baby quilt as another surprise gift. Turns out, quilt math is super important and maybe I shouldn’t avoid it as much as I do, as this little guy is turning into the weirdest sized quilt. It’s the thought that counts.

And I just really want to tell you about my most favorite new addiction….blackberry serrano yogurt. Yes. and Yes. Go now and try it.

And then Beyonce happened. I accidentally bought a new car. Oops. (yes, her name is Beyonce) Ok, it wasn’t really an accident. We’ve been in discussion to take this step for quite some time….it was So. Hard. for me to get rid of my Civic. I loved that little car so very much, and she still had the new car shine….but little is the key word. We needed something a bit bigger. And since I am sort of a financial badass with our moola (if I do say so myself) we were able to make a fabulous trade to get this badass Beyonce. And I am in loooooove. This car is sooo perfect for me, and the icing on the cake is little ‘ol me waltzed into the dealership flying solo, and bought this all on my own, reveling in my negotiating prowess. RAWR. You know the commercial where the woman puts her feet on the desk and asks “what can you do for me?” I might have put my feet on their desks.

Want to know who does not love Beyonce?

Tinsley does not love Beyonce. at all.

Speaking of dogs. I’ve been spending my time with lots of them. It’s what I do. It’s what I love. Man, is it exhausting. But look at that face! Totally worth it!

And I am still getting my sweat on. I cannot even believe I have been committed to fitness for over a year now. It has taken a loooooong time (ummmm, my whole life?) but something has finally clicked and I love knowing that it is now just a part of my life. It still takes a lot of effort, and lately it has been a serious struggle trying to fit fitness into a schedule that consists of very long days on my feet, but I just make it work. Somehow. Some way.

And that, my friends, is why I haven’t updated my blog. Because my world is pretty boring HA! But my mom loves an update (Hi Mom!) so we’ll let the blog live on for my mom, my only reader 🙂

just a little bite

I’ve been craving nature lately. I have a tendency to not appreciate the nature that Florida has to offer me, and hence I don’t spend much time out in it, because of that whole grass is always greener thing. I want the nature from other regions. Luckily, I have that stored on my hard drives, so when the craving hits, I can just take a quick little bite and be satisfied for a bit…

it’s a talent

It takes a special kind of talent to ignore images for as long as I do. My relationship with photography, and let’s be honest, the dreaded editing, could use a super dose of couple’s therapy. Maybe even a couple’s retreat. I love photography. I hate photography. I always hate sitting in front of the computer to tend to my photography. So I let things get so very dusty. But this year I am determined to get some of my vacation images out of my computer and onto print. And also, if we’re being really honest here, we are beginning to plan our next trip, which always brings me back to my past photos.

So my computer has gone in for a tune up, I have lost my editing tools because maybe *ahem* they weren’t the most legit copies, and now I am getting restarted. Does that mean you will see more photos? More *gasp* activity here? psssssh. Let’s be real. I am not very reliable. But we shall see.

In the meantime, one of my favorite shots from our last visit.

.

What’s my favorite time of the year? Beach time of year.

a whole lot of nothing

There’s been a whole lot of nothing going on around here. My computer took a trip to the other side before being miraculously revived. It totally saw the light and is a changed creature…sadly it changed in some ways that make me sad. It is missing some vital *cough* pirated *cough* programs, so editing has been, well, non-existent.

But my mom finally got her very own computer *hooray Shirley!!!* however, that now means that I get reminded that nothing seems to be happening on my blog. Ever. *averts eyes*

So, ummmmmmmm, I guess I could let you know that I am currently obsessed with poached eggs. That’s pretty exciting stuff, right? But I mean, Look. At. That. Egg. Beautiful stuff, no?

Right, so yeah. That about sums up my world right about now. Sooooooooooooo…..

The One

From every series of shots, there is always that One Shot. The One. The one that makes you think, even if I lost all the other shots and was left with just this one, I would be ok with that.